'When integrity is gone, so will the fans be. For this game is officially…'TAINTED'!'

It genuinely pains me to say this, even in my own heart it seems an almost preposterous thought…but my mind and my conscience are tugging the strings here now…I will not be back, I will not participate nor recognise the sport and the club I love, if, the standards I set myself in life, draw no comparison, to the standards of our national sport.
I have long campaigned for integrity, not just in football but in life.
You see, I was brought up knowing right from wrong, that’s not to say I’m anywhere near perfect…in fact saintly I most certainly am not. I’m as flawed and as fucked up as the next guy.
You might find it hard to believe, but I’m no angel, nor would I ever wish to be. I guess I just like to believe that over-the-piece “I’m not a bad spud”.
What I do have is a conscience. I may do wrong (from time to time of course), but when I do… god do I know all about it ?!
I find it hard to deal with a guilty feeling, I become desperately torn between the natural desire to ‘escape’ punishment or the ethical and moral stance that dictates I should only do a crime when prepared to do the time.
I’m a shocking liar but a game wee player, I sometimes convince myself two wrongs may very well make ‘my desired’ right, I may act on my own vested self interests and from time to time I may even enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes with an inherent sense of danger, the inherent sense of satisfaction that comes of knowingly ‘getting away with it’.
I told you I had a darker side! 😉
It all comes back to this though; I know in my heart of hearts when I’m in the wrong and I’m incapable of standing back impotently and watching others suffer through my own reckless, impulsive or thoughtlessness. I have a moral compass, one which, more regularly than not, points me in the right direction, one which guides how I act as a , hopefully, responsible adult and that dictates my preference to face the music, to hold my hands up and to confess to my guilt when confronted by the merest production of anything remotely considered as evidence of that fact.
I am torn, of course, with the natural desire to let others be complicity fooled but I’d find it hard, nae impossible to blatantly lie my way out of a quandary of my own making.
I am, more or less, incapable of acting out a forged and fraudulent exterior of innocence, incapable of playing the victim of a circumstance and incapable of disguising my discomfort with the burden brought on by a guilty feeling…of that I must confess.
See what I mean!!
Anyway, I digress…planet football, that’s where I’m headed.
Everyday the morality of our game seems to slide a little further, the integrity of our ‘governing’ bodies a little more questionable and the point of the entire product becomes a little less visible.
I have no wish to become a total hypocrite.
You see, the qualities I stand for personally, I too choose to seek in others.
I can’t bear to watch anyone be more cunning and more elusive than me, no if I am to be judged as a guilty man, be that in my own heart and mind alone, then I expect others to at least share in the same ethos and to show similar such conscience, such morals, such integrity.
If I consider myself a guilty ‘bhoy’, then I expect you too, to send yourself down to the dock of remorse for sentencing!
If I can’t look myself in the mirror, then I’m not even half a man…I’m nothing. If I can sense the lies in my eyes, how could I expect anyone else to see honesty and integrity in their lifeless, remorseless, black pupils?
That black pupil to which I refer, is the tell-tale sign of  a lesser moraled man, an untrustworthy, unreliable and unrepentant soul…reminiscent of so many in Scottish football right now.
How, Ballantyne, Regan, Doncaster, Ogilvie can quite justify, even to themselves, their holding of a position in power and in charge of others is beyond me, how they can oversee any body, club or association that acts, or should act in governance of our game is astounding.
Quite how these individuals can look Neil Lennon in the eye and not feel so hypocritical and so guilty as to explode into lyrical passages of confession, or to muster at least an apology and some act of compassion as they overseen or were associated with the governing bodies who charged him with every uttering of complaint, every gesture of defiance and every sign of annoyance at the wrong-doings directed towards himself, his club and his people in the recent past is beyond my comprehension. Shame on each and every one of them.
How the referees attributed to a ‘tainted’ footballing association can ever again enforce ‘their’ letter of the law, when the association they work for cannot themselves be trusted to do likewise with their rule-book both perplexes and concerns me…make no mistake, these governing bodies stand to make hypocrites and immorality of so many people.
People like you or I if we continue to fund, to endorse and to care for anything or anyone remotely associated with a sport they threaten to rig, corrupt, taint and to profit off of, will to be complicit in their deceit…I can’t look myself in the metaphorical mirror, I couldn’t sample and enjoy the sporting spectacle of such a tarnished product, I couldn’t invest either my pound or my pride in a club which wishes, chooses or permits itself to be guilty by association.
When I think of all the hard-earned pennies and pounds I’ve spent, be that on season tickets, cup tickets or away tickets, on pies, burgers or on drinks, on bets, on clothing, on tv subscriptions or on official products of any kind…and in doing so, having been a willing contributor to a corrupt and moral-less sham of a sport, a rigged, staged and improper contest…I’m made justifiably angry, hurt, upset and disgusted.
I await the next move, the next statement, the next unfolding event in this saga of integrity, or its lack thereof; be that of my club or my neighbours club’s making, from the main association or its sub-judicial bodies, from a trusted or suspicious individual, from a free press or a complicit, unwavering media. I do so with great, GREAT INTEREST…the resulting actions, or inactions, judgements or injustices, will define whether I’ll be back, whether I can be justified in giving a fuck…or giving SFA (Sweet Fuck All) about this sport, or whether it’s not just Rangers and their lack of moral encompassment that is lost to our national obsession once and for all.
I won’t participate in anything truly tainted, I sure as hell won’t pay the wages of those who taint it….your next move Messrs Regan, Ballantyne, Doncaster, Longmuir and Ogilvie…Messrs Lawell, Milne, Thompson, Yorkston, Turnbull, Johnston, Dempsey, Petrie, Romanov and all the other chairs and directors, make it and make it soon, most of all make ir right…or I will be done with your tainted product and all those who connect with it forever.
Right now the WWE looks like a more legitimate and more discernible product than Scottish football…convince me to care, convince me to come back, convince me you’ve changed!
Other wise it’s check-mate, game over, arrivederci from me…over and out!!
 
@brianbhoy07
 

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