'Can We Have Snow, When Hell Freezes Over?'

It’s just turned midnight and the importance of this new day is not lost on me.
As the clock turned 12, as per usual, both big and small hands were in their most vertical of positions but apart from that fact, nothing else seems quite as ‘straight up’, or to dispense with the puns, as straight forward about today.
Today is Friday 13th July 2012, now if your supersticous I’m sure you’ll believe that today is going to be an unlucky one for many, perhaps even for yourself…I’m more of a pragmatist myself. Perhaps that’s as result of, for me, every day being equally as unlucky as the last I experienced in life. I mean honestly, what significance can I find in the calendar to depict what constitutes a lucky or an unlucky day…apart from that is to say, that the days I’ve found to be unlucky all feature an ‘A’ in their names and before that ‘A’ a ‘D’ is always situated, and after the ‘A’ a ‘Y’ always follows.
I’m sure you get my drift.
Anyhow, today I will, after much consultation with my crystal ball, stick my reputation firmly upon the line and boldly declare that a sizeable section of the Scottish footballing fraternity will today experience terrible news and will be awfuly disappointed, hurt and probably even depressed. For them, this Friday the 13th is not only going to be an unlucky day, but quite possibly a historical watershed of a day.
Today, the SFL chairmen will vote upon the proposed ‘carve up’ of our national game, a carve up solely aimed to aid and abete just one deceased ‘zombie’ club and their would be newly formed corporate shell.
Today is sure to be tough for some, if not all, of us involved in Scottish football. Today may very well, regardless of the result, prove to be the day our clubs and our game as a whole, lived to fight another tough day of titanic struggling or indeed died of result a ‘bloody (SFA/SPL/SFL) suicide pact’.
Today will prove to be either a ‘face saving’ or an ‘facing the firing squad’ kinda moment for us all…but for Messrs Regan, Doncaster and Green today is so damn critical that they really can’t win, either way they will implicate themselves in the death of one thing or another, Sevco or Scottish Football, of corruption or of integrity.
Now till I digress again…I love the entire build up to a democratic election, I love the seemingly endless collection of data made known to us all, carefully crafted to influence the voting publics perceptions.
One poll says this party will win, another evidences an entirely opposing probability as to the result, so on as so forth and for much of the time the variety of the polls results are so widely varied that absolutely no reasoned relevance can be drawn from them.
Today however, in the SFL vote, the relevance is so stark and so clear for all to see that I imagine of the polls conducted to-date, a landslide victory is on the cards.
Why are these polls more reliable?! Well my friends, it is because these are not mere faceless, annonymous and account-less individuals who’ve stated their intentions concerning a vote.
No these ‘polls’ are well publicised, well known, instantly accountable and personally attributable statements made of chairmen the length and breadth of the country…any deviation from their ‘stated corse of intent’, would meet with such disapproval, anger and resentment that their positions would be completely untenable, much of course like are ‘Regan and Doncasters’ are just now!
You see, today, in the burning sesspit that is ‘Scottish Football’ hell a chilling wind is blowing along corridors of power, this hell looks all but assured to be engulfed in a modern day ice age…this hell may be on the verge of freezing over.
Another area surrounding election day coverage that always intrigues and amuses me is the performance of one ‘Mr David Snow’, he’s always good value for breaking down the patterns of voting and for evidencing the facts and figures into a colourful and easily identifiable, easily understood and entertaining variety of statistical pie charts, graphs and tables. Indeed he does it with such vigour, with such enthuisiasim and with such authority that he breaks up the monotenous wait for certainty, well for me anyhow!
David Snow makes the boring wait for definitive post election results a lot more bearable and way more enlightening, in fact I’d go as far as saying, after a few key votes are declared, Mr Snow is rarely, if ever, wrong in his boldly asserted likely outcomes concerning results.
On the day our Scottish footballing hell may at last begin to freeze over…I for one am hoping for a bit of ‘Snow’ to thaw me out.
It’d be class to see a man jumping around on live television, enthusing like he would over the statistical impotance of the declared votes and reasoning their likely implications.
In fact perhaps if SKY TV wanted to televise the drama in Scottish football they could have created a Eurovision style declaration of results show, with David Snow giving us an endless assortment of facts and figures to digest upon, tomorrow.
Hey, as another plus for the Eurovision style voting structure…it’s also always a done deal that the union jack waving brigade go home disappointed.
What I’d do to see the ‘live televised’ fallout of the vote upon Doncaster, Regan and Greens’ faces later this afternoon…could be comedy gold really.
Imagine this;
“Hi from Arbroath…we in the boardroom of Arbroath Football Club have decided to award the following scores. SEVCO entry to Div 1 – Nil pwah. Our vote of confidence in Stewart Regan – nil pwah. Our vote of confidence in Neil Doncaster – nil pwah. Our respect for Sevco and their dubious business model – nil pwah. Finally our vote for integrity to be restored in our game…full marks, congratulation integrity – 10 points!”
Ah hell I’m clearly delusional with my lack of sleep, I’m off to bed…see you all on the flip side. Mind look out your winter-wear, it might very well be getting much colder at Hampden later. 😉

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