Firstly can I just remind all at TCN who I am, ‘@brianbhoy07’ been away for a while…not entirely through choice though.
Hey I’m back now anyway, sure did miss you all. 😉
Right well, welcome home speech ticked off my list, I intend to blog a little controversially tonight…you bhoys and ghirls alright with that?!
I am Scottish, I am a proud Scot and I declare no false allegiance to any other nation.
Sure, I like a few of them more than the others but I’m damn glad I’m Scottish, I am an un-apologetic ‘Braveheart’ at well…heart.
That being said, while I’ll always look to Andy Murray playing tennis and cheer him on despite the fact that if I’m being honest I could equally gladly see him eliminated at round one in each competition for reasons three-fold;
(1) I actually hate the very sight of his evil witch like bloody mother…if I won Euromillions tomorrow, first thing I’d probably do would be to hire a Serbian hitman to erase her. (Does anyone else think that apart from it being really bloody sad that his mum follows him around the world like some exhibit of paternal over protectiveness, that perhaps the lad could do with a wee hour or two alone with the gorgeous Kim Sears…I know I could!!) Seriously though, his mum for me stifles his personality, he might even have one if he can put more than 20 yards between him and ‘mother-dear’.
(2) I, as already stated, am a proud Scot. I do not hate the English, I on the other hand hate the fakery of ‘British-ness’…I can certainly do without some up their own arse 99.9% of the time ‘Englishman’ telling me how proud Andy makes us to be British…oops he lost, ah well ‘the young Scot has come up short again. (All the while muttering ‘loser’ under his breath no doubt) I am 100% Scottish…keep your British tag, in fact shove it up yer a***!!
(3) I would much rather not see a Scot moan any more prolifically than me…I’m the self-appointed grumpiest man is Scotland, god I make Jack Dee look like Michael McIntyre on ecstasy.
Seriously though, I love anything that gives our great nation a cause to pull together and to, in our overly optimistic manner, compete against the best the world has to offer.
We are the kings and queens of coming up short, we have taken ‘glorious failure’ to a new stratosphere of successful-ness.
Yet I still love to throw my weight behind the cause, I will pretty much always get behind a Scottish personality, god I am so blinded by patriotism that I once described ‘Fran and Anna’ as the Lucy Pinder and Keeley Hazell of their day…urrrgghhh!!
I’ll cut a very long and boring story short shall I?!
I may love my nation and be a fervent supporter of all things Scottish but that no longer extends to in football terms.
As International games fast approach us, I could imagine nothing more unappealing to me than throwing the weight of my fervent patriotism at a team who represent all that is wrong with our national sport.
Firstly, Craig Levein…that dude could make an orgasm achieved by having six hours of non-stop, bewilderingly dirty sexy times with Kelly Brook sound and feel like the most mundane and ultimately pointless activity imaginable. He makes Andy Murray sound like Des Clarke high on a cocktail of Helium and LSD.
Secondly and more pressingly, they represent the SFA. An organisation who have dismantled any pride we should have in our game courtesy of years of neglect, years of ineptitude and years of corruption at the helm of our favourite pastime.
I would gladly adopt the patience of our minnow clubs, where unsuccessfulness of our teams results are concerned, in fact for more years than we care to remember, we all have!
Supporting the Scottish national football team is neither good for your physical or mental wellbeing, it is akin to an act of outrageous sadomasicism…yet we threw ourselves blindly behind the cause time after time, after time. Talk about the blind leading the blind!!
I will not go into why I and many others, well everyone not of a seriously Sevco tinted spectacled variety, believe the association to be guilty of an outrageous breach of our trust and of letting ‘The People’ roam freely and unchecked through a labyrinth of pathways to success, all the while provided with the only copy of a route planner and a satellite navigation device and whilst all the other competitors were hamstrung by blindfolds, ball and chains and mischief-making novelty compass.
Sadly however, that is the realism of the situation, we are asked to support an entire football association who care less for our game than the Azerbaijan version should.
I will never whilst the men in charge, linger in positions of responsibility at HQ ‘Hampden’ and who occupy the hottest seats in the corridors of power, be back at a Scotland game, nor even be so interested as to grace it with even my fleeting attention when on television. I wouldn’t piss on Hampden if it joined me at Tommy Sheridan’s favourite fetish friendly swingers club and then begged like a bad, bad girl with a nymphomatic tendency to be showered in my golden goodness!!
I despise Hampden, the SFA, the Scottish Cup and The Scottish League Cup…anything touched or controlled by persons aligned to the running of our national game, is now tarnished to me. I will make no secret of my insistence that I will not spend a penny outside of the SPL and then only whilst Sevco are not parachuted back in to the top flight out with the route of absolute sporting merit.
Still, Sevco, a new club with only a purchased facade of a history and a genuine one of only 3 months of utterly repugnant and reprehensible conduct are seen to call the shots. Still they seem to be able to dodge penalties where others would be either publicly flogged or crucified under Pontius Ogilvie.
I will not, and I would urge all the real football fans of this country, be it of a Celtic, Motherwell, Dundee United or even Dumbarton persuasion, to boycott all forms of SFA matches that are not routine league matches.
I think an empty Hampden, a shockingly low television audience and a financially disastrous run platform is the only way to oust those brass-necked charlatans out of power within our game. Naming, shaming has not worked, this mob cannot be embarrassed into a retreat or to redemption…the only way I see to end their monopoly on the running (down) of our game, is to (as John ‘Bomber’ Brown once said) ‘starve em out’.
That is what I intend to do….I’m sure sheer patriotism may blinker much of your moral righteousness and your heart over-rule your head, I’m sure that your method of justification for getting behind the nation will make sense to you and of course you are entirely welcome to your opinions, your decisions will not be scrutinised by my judgemental self…I’m just laying my thoughts upon the matter thoroughly upon the line.
Take or leave them…just, I beg of you, consider carefully any money you may generate for those delinquents down Kings Park way…those fat cats are not likely to invest even a fraction of their salaries value back in terms their honesty and effort to do what’s best for our game. They are more likely to smuggle your cash out of Hampdens back door and to purchase Sevco shares with it.
I’m done meantime with anything that may cross their palms with silver….stick your International games, I choose Celtic each and every time!
Don’t all shout at once folks!