The Bad Egg Timer.

The Bad Egg Timer.


The egg industry was furious over salmonella claims made by the then health minister Edwina Currie as she questioned the safety of the egg. Many at the time laughed and said she was cracked.

2013. The holding egg that owned the hen but couldn’t quite manage the omelette.

The egg once again is a hot topic for debate in Scotland over what came first a chicken or an egg or indeed in one instance, what was born from the egg.

This particular egg mind you has certain observers boiling mad.

Back then Edwina provoked outrage by saying most of Britain’s egg production was infected with the salmonella bacteria.
( Sam n Ella in street jargon )

She angered farmers, politicians and egg producers, some of whom called for her resignation and threatened to sue.

“Most of the egg production in this country, sadly, is now affected with salmonella,” she told reporters.

Edwina Currie initially received support from Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and Health Secretary Kenneth Clarke although privately I think they must have been clucking mad.

But now here in Scotland a different kinder egg debate has recently hatched.

It involves the hopeful production of a football club supporter claiming the age-old ‘chicken or the egg’ question could prove that a footballing lifeline couldn’t be proven as ova. Don’t think it would be news a Young Chic would argue with.

Social media was then swamped with a battery of eggstraordinary banter.

Yolk after yolk poured in as more serious comment was quickly separated to whisk up a brilliant frenzy of humour, one could almost imagine the whites of some eyes as brains fried in the futility of the assertion.

Squadrons of eggsperts took up media space to piss themselves laughing as the opportunity for a successful coup was presented as they tucked into their on-line Eggs Benedict.

It is believed the original poster had knorr idea how seized upon his eggsample would be, perhaps believing that no re-poach would be forthcoming.

It was quickly suggested that he might be a strategically placed egg-plant simply attempting to spread a deliberately confused seed.

In 1988 Edwina’s comments incensed the farming industry and egg producers who expected a sharp fall in egg consumption as a result.

The British Egg Industry Council said it was seeking legal advice on whether it could sue Mrs Currie over “factually incorrect and highly irresponsible” remarks.

A spokesman said the risk of an egg being infected with salmonella was less than 200 million to one.

The National Farmers’ Union said it might seek legal damages.

The sums mentioned were not likely to be considered a poultry sum either.

It would seem this Scottish eggsample may have fallen fowl to the same absurd principles of stupidity as had before been evident.

Much flapping continues on this topic, it having been plucked as the breast example of such stupidity from a whole range of other genetically modified productions.

Back in the day as egg sales plummeted, the government was forced to offer a compensation package of millions of pounds, not exactly chicken feed to shell out to cover the cost of purchasing surplus eggs and for the slaughter of unwanted hens. That offer appeared to show once and for all, when it came to eggs or chickens, who really ruled the roost.

Taking Stock of this whole Chicken fiasco in recent days, I have to say, it falls way short of a supreme idea but rather, is more likely no more than a much-needed eggo trip.

Most people having offered their banter bits are now left eggsasperated by it all leaving nothing now but raw egg on a raw face.

It’s now believed the eggman was just trying to wing it, which led to the hilariously fowl humour that followed.

On reflection there is unlikely to be a Chicken Coronation any time soon, which must be eggony for those hungry to present a happy sunny side up face after such a hurtful eggminstration.

What I guess was considered a clever explanation of creation, it’s now highly unlikely that as the childhood nursery rhyme say’s, anyone could manage to put Humpty together again as the timer runs out.

I imagine there are plenty looking forward to dinner tonight, It must be Chicken tonight, Chicken tonight.

Eggcellent .
Cock-a-doodle doo.


Contentious Pest


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